The pose of ocicat W.M.D.Hobbes (b.2002/7/15), long billed
to a trusting public as The Furry Force of Fast Finality —
has been unmasked — his alleged WMDs exposed as about as dangerous
as those dreamed-up in the hysterical DTs of President Preemptive.
On the evening of 2005/4/3, after a 24h-vigil
at his favorite kitchen-wall mouse-hole, WMDH successfully pounce-captured
his 1st live mouse — and immediately tried to cuddle it to death.
Instead of wreaking the kind of devastation which he has
hitherto reliably & mercilessly meted out to every victim
(during nearly three shock&awesome years of spreading
unmitigated terror throughout the toy-mouse universe),
Hobbes lifted his captive mouse with gentle jaws
and carried him about as a lioness or panda would a cub.
When the reluctant-mate rodent then attempted to bolt behind a bookcase
(to initiate the standard mouse-in-the-house routine:
months of hiding, etc, etc, echh), Hobbes saved the day with
a desperate, last-second, masterful SandyAmoros-esque grab.
However, because Hobbes knoweth not his own strength, it was
deemed wisest to arrange for divorce on-grounds-of-incompatibility.
See photos at right. Above: jilted ex-cuddler, still looking for action,
though fortunately under restraining-order. Below: love-saliva drenched
but totally-unharmed cuddlee — in temporary bathtub-detention.
Mr.Cuddlee was affectionately released the same evening, onto distant grass in good weather, and wandered off in cheery spirits, preparing to select a new home to haunt.
The exposed feline faker is expected to be sentenced imminently to at least ten years of increased food and toys….